i cant help myself

I dont need whiskey to drown out the pain Or some old umbrella to hold off the rain Dont have to cross over a river of tears All that i need is right here
You know lifes a freight liner on A runaway track But ill take the ride knowing That youll bring me back No fates too uncertain no distance too far
As long as your here in my arms Whenever i hold you tight This crazy world of mine falls right in place Whatever the trouble is You find a way to give back what it takes Holding you holds me together When holding on gets just a little to hard When this tight rope i travel Begins to unravel and i feel like
Im falling apart Holding you holds me together - you're all i got.

it used to be so easy to get mad at her now i just fell nothing but pain. i dont want her to change because clearly this is how she wants to live her life and im ok with that because if she were to change chances are that she would jsut go back to what shes been doing so i would just end up getting hurt again so i do not want her to change i dont care about it anymore i just dont want to have to be here to watch ya know... she wants to destroy herself and i cant stop her this is a proven fact dont think i havnt tried. so i just want to get away from it. i've already started washing my hand of the rest of my family my dad has been quite easy to brush off as well as the rest of his side except aunt tammy uncle paul and alex of course, and my mom's side i cant get rid of aunt sally and uncle mark and grandma, grandma needs me lord know my mom wont be there for her. i just dont want to be apart of something that is like a sham ya know. it really doesnt matter to anyone its easier to just start over clean on my own. i love dan's family so much (even when we fight) its like i actually have a family. for once in my life. i dont deserve it but praise God for em.

i need you to be here but you cant be here, you need me to be better but i cant be